Flexing: A Diasporic Act of Self Love
I woke up at around 7am, logged into my Twitter app & saw this:
I would’ve responded but a tweet doesn’t have enough characters for my testimony:
-clowned & disowned by family & “friends” for my chosen spiritual path & for doing tarot readings
-scammed & taken advantage of by a Santero & my spiritual “family”
-was left homeless temporarily & hopping from couch to couch
-had to put my business on pause for physical & mental health concerns
TODAY, I teach women how to manifest happiness, love & wealth by using their spirituality. I have over 10k followers for my spirituality based blog & business which pays the bills at the HUGE duplex I live in, that is MINE, all mine. My handmade soaps & quirky t-shirts have been used & worn by a few celebrities. I’m always booked days & sometimes even weeks in advance for tarot readings & I have residency doing readings at one of the most popular bars in the city.
Big flex. Big witch energy.
Our parents & even our grandparents have always taught us to be humble. “Nobody likes a show boat”. “The quicker you brag about your blessings, the quicker God will take them away from you.” We’re taught to look down upon those who are flashy & like to show off or “flex” as we call it in the hood. I want to help not only myself but others as well, to eliminate this from our subconscious, because it can be detrimental to our self esteem & even create destructive blockages in manifesting abundance.
I’m quickly reminded of the ruby card in my crystal oracle deck which boasts the word “Shine”. Its meaning is about not dimming your light, stepping out of the shadows to show your full potential, and to shine bright like a diamond. But I realize that due to subconscious programming from our parents & their parents, that’s a difficult task for most of us to do.
“Humbleness” is not the antonym of “egotism”. However, humbleness is what creates BALANCE within egotism. Be boastful & “flex” your accomplishments but always remain mindful that energy is forever changing. So yes I’m saying be cocky. Have the confidence that that the universe is moving in your favor. Love yourself because in the diaspora, we as black people & POC are taught the very opposite. If we never celebrate our accomplishments, why would our ancestors & the deities we work with continue to bless us?
Dimming your light & dumbing down your achievements truthfully discredits your highest self, your ancestors & your spirit guides for the work they’ve put in. It also stirs the pot of “lack” which is an energy that can be damaging to your self esteem as well as your finances. There is more than enough money, promotions, degrees & blessings to go around for everyone. So why not celebrate yours?
We’re taught to “shut up & be grateful” as if those things go hand in hand together because of “how we might make others feel”. So you mean to tell me that I shouldn’t celebrate gaining over 10k followers because Becky the Bruja down the street has been struggling to get to 1k for the last two years? What’s in my pot doesn’t have shit to do with Becky’s. If me patting myself on the back is a trigger for Becky, then Becky needs a better therapist. PERIOD.
Flexing isn’t about being better than anyone, it’s simply about acknowledging your best YOU. Acknowledging how far you’ve come & opening your eyes to the possibilities of even bigger blessings. An even bigger “flex”. People often associate bragging with narcissism which is a completely different animal altogether. There are those who brag to honor their achievements & then there are those who brag because they want to seem “better” than everyone else. Know the difference between the two. Be intentional with your boasting. Elevate yourself without tearing others down.
We’re all used to seeing our local dope boys post up in a club parking lot on any given Saturday night with their icy chains, foreign cars & their favorite trap songs blaring from the speakers. Our parents taught us to look down on this but a little flexing from time to time is actually an act of self love. Although seemingly flashy to most, our local dope boys are really just showing us their self love rituals. Multiple gold chains draped around their necks, stacks of cash hanging out their pockets & music with lyrics that describe the work they do. Showing off the fruits of their hard labor in the streets. That’s ritualistic whether it’s intentional or not. Men of the Wodaabe tribe regularly adorn themselves with feathers, wear elaborate makeup & perform what’s called the Yaake to celebrate both their own divinity & to be chosen by a woman for marriage. The Wodaabe are just an example of many tribes with “show boating” rituals. For POC in the diaspora, flexing is in our DNA. It’s apart of our heritage.
Instead of looking down on someone else for blasting their achievements, honor yourself & how far you’ve come. Do it often. Doing this also helps to eliminate mental barriers that prevent you from attaining wealth. Banish the energy of “lack” from your subconscious. It’s ok to have a toast to your degree & ALSO the fact that you were able to blow $300 in Sephora last week. You work hard. You deserve it. And if toasting to your accomplishments is a trigger for anyone around you, it’s because they too, need to extinguish the energy of lack that’s burning up their subconscious.
I want everyone reading this to write down what their response would be to the above tweet. What’s your biggest flex? Let it become a self-esteem building ritual to write down your triumphs & release the past. Even if you can’t think of anything noteworthy, simply reading this article & adjusting your mindset is enough. Breaking generational curses surrounding self love & abundance? BIG FLEX.
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