How I became Bad & Brujita
Subconsciously, I’ve always known I was a healer. I grew up Christian but my mother cussed a lot & we didn’t always go to church every Sunday. Growing up, anything occult related was always on my list of guilty pleasures. I remember wanting to dress as a witch every Halloween but my mother got tired of it & urged me to try different costumes. Television shows like Charmed & Sabrina: The Teenage Witch were my favorites to watch above anything else. When I turned 13, I remember praying that I would have some random spirit or ancestor come to me & tell me about my “God given gifts & abilities.” Of course that sort of things only happens in movies. I very much idolized every on-screen witch but I never had reasoning as to why.
Once I became an adult, I started to dive deeper into my Christian faith but I always felt I lacked a steady connection to it. Negative experiences I had with various churches also did not help. I was around 20 when my best friend & sister in spirit, Erica, told me about a friend of hers that was visiting from out of town that did tarot readings. I ended up not connecting with her, but I stumbled upon an oracle deck in my local Barnes & Noble & decided to give them a try. I was at a point in my life where I was questioning everything. I believed in the love of Jesus but I was no longer believing in what the bible & church says we should & shouldn’t do. I mean, how can weed & tattoos be really that bad for us to be condemned to hell for it? Shellfish too? That’s super harsh don’t ya think?
I was still living with my mother at the time & she eventually saw the cards in my room because I forgot to put them away. She demanded that I “throw that devil sh*t way”. No fault to her, however, she was raised by two devout Christians from Mississippi. So I followed my mother’s request & threw them away. I shifted my focus into learning more about astrology after that. That wasn’t too bad because everyone reads their horoscope right?
Fast forward several years later, I’m living on my own & trying to stay afloat. I’ve had my heart broken my fair share of times & then the straw came that broke the camel’s back. After I’d sworn off love, I fell in love once again with a narcissistic, emotionally abusive & financially dependent Aquarius. My intuition led to me to find out what I already knew was true, which was that he was cheating on me with various women in his hometown & women from social media. Damn, damn, damn I’ve been played the fool again. But this time I felt extreme rage. The kind of rage that creates episodes of Snapped & Dateline. This is not an exaggeration. I wanted to commit several murders & even literally planned it out thanks to my Scorpio rising sign & moon in Capricorn. But no, with all these curves I have, I would for sure be forced to be somebody’s buss it baby in jail. And to my knowledge they don’t serve cheese fries in jail either. So F*CK THAT.
I tried to pray & even went back to church but the church I had been attending on/off was very rooted in money & greed. Prayer alone was not soothing my rage & I still felt spiritually unfulfilled. I decided I just HAD TO find a way to exact my revenge without ruining my own reputation or going to jail. So I sought out the help of big sis Erica. I’d known for years that she was into the craft, magick, rootwork, brujeria, whatever you choose to call it. Overall, she was just very knowledgeable of many different religions and spiritual practices. So during this delusional state of rage, I asked her to help me put a hex on him. She laughed at me, told me I was crazy & that I needed to get some spiritual guidance. She asked me “don’t you still go to church?” So I told her “kinda sorta” because I believed in Jesus but no longer the bible & I’d lost faith in church. She looked at me & said “honey, you just need HOODOO. Not voodoo but HOODOO.”
So she referred me to another tarot reader friend of hers that was local. I drove down to the little storefront in the hood & got my first real tarot reading. This is the moment where everything shifted for me. As this woman was sitting across from me pulling cards & giving me guidance, I realized I was on the wrong side of the table. I had a flashback to when I threw out my old tarot cards & I realized that had I not thrown them out, I would have been in a better position to help myself instead of having to seek guidance from someone else. Looking back, the woman wasn’t exactly accurate about some things but it was the experience that changed the course of my life.
A couple weeks later I went out to a little shop in Bedford, Ohio called Spirit Apothecary. Walking in there was like walking into a whole new world for me. Instead of looking for materials to curse my ex, I grabbed a few crystals, books to learn how to heal myself in different, non traditional ways. I grabbed my 2nd set of cards & decided to pick up where I’d left off some years prior. I never ended up hexing that jerk, either. The focus shifted to myself & for the first time in my life I was starting to feel more fulfilled. I basically became the witch that 13 year old me prayed to be. I ended up going back to the tarot reader a couple times, but I ultimately decided to heal myself. I’ve always been a very independent soul. I was the kid who finished my portion of the group project without even speaking to anyone else.
So fast forward to present day, I decided to create Bad & Brujita to not only enlighten others but to also empower them to do things for themselves. We live in a society that is rooted in co-dependency & those of us that grew up in Abrahamic religions, know how sometimes the leaders in these religions can even further push that narrative. To associate brujeria with evil is incorrect. To call it New Age is even further incorrect. I want to shake up that dynamic. Hoodoo, brujeria, magick, is all about connecting with the earth and our ancestors for healing.
There is a healer, shaman, rootworker, bruja/brujo in every single person reading this. This blog was created to help you access your spiritual independence. So I’m here to share my journey & my knowledge with you all. It’s for the 13 year old who binge watches Charmed episodes, the 20 year old who is worried about acceptance, the 26 year old who feels unfulfilled in life & any & everyone alike. Hopefully my journey & the information I have to share empowers you to get in touch with your highest self. Hopefully I can inspire people to be unafraid to be who they want to be. Because I will always be, unapologetically, BAD & BRUJITA.